hey there,
sooo school just started for a whole wack of people. exciting stuff! i started yesterday and i know i had big plans for this year. going to camp two weeks ago helped me to see what areas in my life i needed to work on and learned a lot about what i could do to change it and to live my life glorifying God. i felt so ready to come back home and make a difference. going to school, i felt motivated and prepared. "chill yo i got this!"
mega fail.
honestly, i felt like i was hit with a bunch of rocks. i never expected how hard satan could try to hit me and i definately wasn't prepared to fight this battle on my own...how are you sopposed to live righteously, happily, and continually setting an example for people when you're surrounded by people who couldn't care less about righteousness or what it even means?! i was falling hard and it was only the first two days of school. i was dissappointed in my friends for how they were acting, dissappointed that things didn't work out the picture perfect way i imagined, and dissappointed in myself for not being the Godly person i wanted to look like.
my problem was that i shouldn't have relied on myself at all! i should have been relying on God. i know i'm not the only christian who has been through this. it happens all the time. what amazes me is how easily we can rely on ourselves instead of the strongest, most secure person in the universe. GOD! God is the one who provides us with opportunity, with the words to say, and with the courage to do the right thing...but we ain't got nothin' if we ain't got God!
if there's anything i learned from this, it's that the second i look to myself for anything is the second things start to fall apart. God needs to be first on my mind no matter what i'm doing or who i'm trying to help. we need to come into the battle prepared; but not with our own understanding and knowledge, with God's word and a little bit of faith.
it doesn't mean the battle gets easier, it just means we'll get back up when we start to fall. the past few days we a little rough, but thank God for grace and forgiveness, pick up and carry on.
"Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Ephesians 6:13-17
a toughy but a goody!
eh.
ellie, i feel you girl!
ReplyDeletemy first day is today and i'm feeling ready to take on the world, but i'm so glad that you wrote this - it's true, i'm thinking that I have the strength to resist temptation and shine my light and everything! I have to go back and empty myself and just trust in God. wow. thanks girl, i'll keep you in my prayers and we should skype soon! we're all in the battle together! <3
Oh El! I hear ya chickieee I was reading this scripture in 1Peter 4:1-11 but in "God's word translation" it was interesting wording:
ReplyDelete1 Peter 4
1Since Christ has suffered physically, take the same attitude that he had. (A person who has suffered physically no longer sins.) 2That way you won’t be guided by sinful human desires as you live the rest of your lives on earth. Instead, you will be guided by what God wants you to do. 3You spent enough time in the past doing what unbelievers like to do. You were promiscuous, had sinful desires, got drunk, went to wild parties, and took part in the forbidden worship of false gods. 4Unbelievers insult you now because they are surprised that you no longer join them in the same excesses of wild living. 5They will give an account to the one who is ready to judge the living and the dead. 6After all, the Good News was told to people like that, although they are now dead. It was told to them so that they could be judged like humans in their earthly lives and live like God in their spiritual lives.
7The end of everything is near. Therefore, practice self-control, and keep your minds clear so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other warmly, because love covers many sins. 9Welcome each other as guests without complaining. 10Each of you as a good manager must use the gift that God has given you to serve others. 11Whoever speaks must speak God’s words. Whoever serves must serve with the strength God supplies so that in every way God receives glory through Jesus Christ. Glory and power belong to Jesus Christ forever and ever!
Love the fact that it says wild parties... it just hits home a little closer... than saying... something else i think.
Keep going sis and keep ur eyes fixed on Jesus.. the world will always fight for u! fighting that u are more and the world is more than what God offers!